Help! Why Does My Dog Like to Stand on Me Always?

Alright, so, like, you know how dogs do weird stuff? Mine's got this thing where he just... stands on me. Like, full-on paws-on-chest, staring-into-my-soul kinda standing. I was all, "Okay, buddy, what's the deal?" So I decided to, like, figure it out.

First thing I did was just pay attention. I started keeping a mental note of when he did it. Was it when I was on the couch? On the floor? Were there other people around? Was I eating? You know, the usual detective work.

Turns out, he mostly does it when I'm chilling on the couch, especially if I'm on my phone or laptop. Ding ding ding! A clue!

So, next step: experiment time! I tried a few things.

• Ignoring him: Didn't work. He just kept standing there, sometimes even nudging my face with his nose. Rude.
• Pushing him off: He'd just jump right back up. Persistent little guy.
• Giving him attention when he wasn't standing on me: This seemed to have a little effect. Like, if he was just sitting next to me, I'd give him a pat and some sweet talk. Figured I'd reward the behavior I wanted.

Then, I remembered reading something about dogs seeking attention by doing things they know get a reaction, even if it's a negative one. Lightbulb moment!

I tried something different. When he started standing on me, I'd calmly and quietly get up and walk away. No eye contact, no talking, just... gone.

And guess what? It actually worked! Slowly but surely, he started standing on me less and less. Now, he'll usually just put his head on my lap if he wants attention. Much better.

So, my theory? He was just bored and wanted attention. By standing on me, he knew he'd get some kind of reaction. Removing the reaction (even a negative one) made the behavior less rewarding for him.

TL;DR: My dog stood on me for attention. I started ignoring the behavior by walking away, and now he mostly just snuggles. Success!

Now, if only I could figure out why he insists on eating grass...